Spoiler Alert: Fast and the Furious [insert number]

Posted by Rudy Stantz on Thursday, May 9, 2013

There are some movies that don't have enough sequels and then there are some that just need to stop. Some of these are Saw, Final Destination, American Pie, Sherk,but the one that really boggles my mind is the "Fast and the Furious" series. Honestly why do people insist on keeping Vin Diesel in business? I thought after all these years of being MIA he would have returned to being a security guard at some strip club. However, people still feel the need to see him butcher lines and piss...


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You Made It, You Hypocritical Douche!

Posted by Rudy Stantz on Tuesday, March 26, 2013
A little while ago I posted a blog commenting on Bloomberg's ridiculous new plan to hide cigarettes from behind the counter which can be read HERE. I posted a screen shot of the blog to my social media sites like most people do in various industries do (be it entertainment, retail, news, etc.) in the hopes that people will click on the link, read it, and enjoy my rant on how Bloomberg is a bit of a tool and express how I do not support smoking and cigarette companies can go fuck themselves. W...
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Win Some, Lose Some

Posted by Rudy Stantz on Thursday, March 21, 2013

Bloomberg lost his battle against keeping big sodas out of movie theaters (He's probably never been to the movies before, some of these things are over 2 hours long! You need to stay hydrated, even if it's with calorie infused sugar water) but this is how much of a sore loser he is. Now that his soda ban got shut down he's going back on the offense against his old time nemesis, cigarettes.



Why would he go back to a battle he already won? Because he already won (for those of you who don't know ...
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I Hope That Blowjob Was Worth It...

Posted by Rudy Stantz on Thursday, February 14, 2013
It's Valentine's Day. WORST FUCKING FAKE ASS HOLIDAY EVER! Seriously, Columbus Day is a close second, along with Christmas and Mother's day etc. 

This is the time you get to tell the person you're with that you love them (but not next week or the rest of the month for that matter, unless you have a birthday or anniversary coming up). But this love is going to cost you. A lot. Here's a checklist for you if you need one:

1. Reservations at a fancy restaurant - This means $$$ and up on the yelp sc...
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Headlining Eastville Comedy Club on March 5th!

Posted by Rudy Stantz on Tuesday, February 12, 2013
It's about damn time! Here's the deal. I'll be headlining Eastville Comedy Club on March 5th. That means a whole 25-30 minutes of me just talking out of my ass about a whole lot of shit that's on my mind and maybe on your mind too but you never bring it up. 

Come catch the show, we got a great line up that night so make sure to come on time!

Details:

Time: 
March 5th 2013

  

Location:     
Eastville Comedy Club

85 E 4th Street 
New York NY 10003


Featuring:
Marty Archibald (Host)
Chris Castelli
Rachel Berr...

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Is This The Men's Room?

Posted by Rudy Stantz on Monday, October 15, 2012
I have a fear of walking into the women's room by accident. Mainly because I'm afraid of what i might see. No one wants to walk in and find a women fishing for her tampon. Unless if you're into that, in which case, JACKPOT! 

Recently I walked into what I thought was a unisex bathroom and found this: 



First thought: Fuck. I'm in the women's room.

Second thought: So that's why they always go to the bathroom in two's, they don't want to feel lonely sitting there with an empty seat going un-sat. 

Thi...
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I Got The Last Slice

Posted by Rudy Stantz on Monday, October 8, 2012
I had pizza earlier this week because pizza is delicious. However, I got the last 2 slices of the pie. Which in normal situations getting the last of anything is always a good thing (e.i. the last beer in the fridge, the last condom, the last toy in the toy store on christmas eve because you didn't get the last condom). 

But getting the last slice at a pizzeria kind of sucks. And the pizza makers (the aren't really chefs because those are in the back making the spaghetti and lasagnas, so we sh...
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Lonely Restaurant Guy

Posted by Rudy Stantz on Monday, October 1, 2012
Recently I met up with a friend at "Big Daddy Diner" in NYC (one of the best diners in the city despite the pending sanitation grade). I waited outside for a bit until I received a phone call from the person saying they were a few blocks away.  I decided to go inside and get a booth. As I sat there I realized that I have become a generic restaurant movie scene. 
 
  

Yea, "that guy." And I thought, who comes up with this idea of waiting for someone inside the restaurant? It's one of the most aw...
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Calentura: Ignite the Stage!

Posted by Rudy Stantz on Tuesday, September 25, 2012
I'll be performing at Baruch College for Latin History Month's final event, Calentura: Ignite the Stage! There will be a bunch of talnted acts including my comedy set. Suggested donation for this event is $5 which will be donated to ASPIRA

For more information CLICK HERE!



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"When I Turned Two" Out Now!

Posted by Rudy Stantz on Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Download my comedy ep, "When I Turned Two" for free! Every download includes a hidden bonus track! CLICK HERE!


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