Recently I met up with a friend at "Big Daddy Diner" in NYC (one of the best diners in the city despite the pending sanitation grade). I waited outside for a bit until I received a phone call from the person saying they were a few blocks away.  I decided to go inside and get a booth. As I sat there I realized that I have become a generic restaurant movie scene. 

Yea, "that guy." And I thought, who comes up with this idea of waiting for someone inside the restaurant? It's one of the most awkward experiences of life. You're just sitting there by yourself with two menus wondering where the hell is this person? And there is only so many times that the waiter/waitress can come up to you and ask if you need anything before you're forced to order something or get kicked out. So you order a soda, not what a waiter/waitress wants to hear. What they want you to order is the Mozzarella Sticks and a Milkshake with a side of Onion Rings. But then you're too full to eat anything else when your friend finally decides to show up. Have you ever ordered an appetizer that you didn't split with at least one other person and then ordered something else after it? Answer: No. Because restaurant sized appetizers are meal sized. Six chicken fingers is dinner for for two not appetizer for one. It's a fucked up dilemma. 

Another thing I wondered. How long do you wait until it's ok to leave? At what point do you realize they are not coming and you've been stood up? 15mins, 30mins, 3 hours? The movies always cut and show them at the diner and make it seem like they have only been there for 5 mins. What if they were there all day? These scenes never start with one person saying, "Where the hell have you been? I've been waiting here for hours! I had lunch and dinner! Actually, I don't even care! FUCK YOU!" This is where that person throws what should be a scolding hot cup of coffee in the other persons face and walks away but since they've been there for a while its cold. Cold coffee in the face, not as effective as hot coffee in the face.  

So next time you want to meet up for food at a restaurant, meet at the book store. At least then you can pretend to read something and look intellectual instead of looking like a lonely fat fuck with no friends scarfing down mozzarella sticks and a milkshake with a side order of onion rings.

And if you do go to "Big Daddy Diner," order the 'What About Bob?' with the tots. It's delicious. 


Side Note: After writing this blog I realized I do not know how to spell 'restaurant'. I spelled it 'resturant' each and every time. Thank you spell check for not making me look like a tool.