Remember that movie Demolition Man? Of course you do, because it starred Sylvester Stallone and Wesley Snipes. Why wouldn't you watch that movie? Especially since it came out in the 1990's when it was all about action movies. It also starred Sandra Bullock. When she was hot. And before she started making shitty, meaningful movies like The Blind Side.

You know who cares about Oscars? Actors. Actors who are awarded by actors who were chosen to win by actors. You think the people buying tickets at the box office care about struggling football players? No. They care if at the end of the movie that football player blows out his knee, loses the scholarship, and goes back to work in his fathers garage.

Now, before I was so rudely interrupted by Sandra Bullock, I was talking about that movie Demolition Man featuring Rocky Balboa and Blade, which should have won an Oscar for best prediction of an actor going to jail. In this movie if you remember there is an awesome sex scene where they put on the Orgasmatron, these helmet type hats which is a requirement because you need to protect your head when having rought trippy virtual sex. You forgot about it? Here's the clip:



Fucking Awesome. Don't you wish you could have this machine? Well I'm sorry America, we don't have the technology. But we're getting there.



It's called Mindflex Duel. Very appropriate name. Mind, obviously because its virtual. If you couldn't figure that one out then you are not allowed to use it. Flex, cause everyone dreams about having sex with a gymnast or yoga instructor (something about the spandex and rolling out of bed wear that drives people wild). Duel, because you who doesn't like to hit. I don't know what Mindflex is actually used for but that photo looks like they are about to have really rough and trippy virtual butt sex. And according to this photo someone is getting a ball in their ass and/or vagina, because in the future all sex toys are unisex.



But its not the Orgasmatron. Like the people settling for the new iPhone. Yes, you may have the iPhone 5 but I'm holding out for the Orgasmatron. So how long until we get the technology for a real deal? I don't know. But hopefully soon. Until then we are going to have to stick with the old fashion rough and trippy sex of drugs, alcohol, and vagina-ass balls.