There are some movies that don't have enough sequels and then there are some that just need to stop. Some of these are Saw, Final Destination, American Pie, Sherk,but the one that really boggles my mind is the "Fast and the Furious" series. Honestly why do people insist on keeping Vin Diesel in business? I thought after all these years of being MIA he would have returned to being a security guard at some strip club. However, people still feel the need to see him butcher lines and piss out mediocre acting. I will not stand for this. So save your money, here is your Fast and the Furious Spoiler alert. 

First Scene:

A group of guys are fucking things up for the government. Then the FBI calls up The Rock (only because Chuck Norris and Jean Claude Van Damme are too busy being Chuck Norris and Jean Claude Van Damme) to try and top this group. Guess what, turns out they know what The Rock is cooking (everyone knows what The Rock is cooking, he's been cooking since 1996). So this group dodge The Rock and his plans like Keanu Reeves dodges bullets.

Next Scene:

The Rock hunts down Riddick, aka Xander Cage, aka Vin Diesel, and asks him for help. Riddick responds with something along the lines of, "Fuck you, I don't work for no government bitches," and then The Rock says, "You're going to want to do this (shows Riddick a picture of the spanish chick from that boxing movie and Resident Evil), the bitch you were banging back in 2001 is alive and is now banging the head of this group." Xander responds, "Ok I'll do it, but only under my terms."

Next Scene: 

Vin Diesel goes to each person from the pervious movies (White Dude, Chick, Black Guy, Rapper, and The Asian) and asks them to meet up. They all meet up and look at each other with this "what the fuck is this all about" look on their faces. (Enter Riddick) He explains what's going on and someone says. "That's a suicide mission," but they agree to do it anyways only if The Rock clears their rap sheet so that they can continue boosting cars, selling drugs, etc. without the penalty of having priors. The Rock says. "Fuck that," but then agrees anyways (because it's a movie). 

Next Scene:

Vin Diesel runs into the Resident Evil chick. He says, "I thought you were dead." She responds with, "Well I'm not," then shoots Riddick in the arm (she doesn't kill him cause she still wants his dick). Xander then gets pissed and goes after the dude in order to win Resident Evil chick's heart. The bad guys are fed up with this, it's time to end this movie. They bust out a tank on the freeway, the rapper sees this and says, "Guys, they got a tank." Even The Rock is impressed by this. Shit just got real. 

Next Scene:

They stopped the tank. They were able to do this with there muscle cars and japanese cars (let's face it, modified stock cars are simply better than tanks). Riddick is able to take down they bad guy thanks to the boxing chick who runs back to him, they fall in love again and move to a secluded part of the world. The rest of the team does the same. (Enter The Rock.) The Rock tries to congratulate them but they are gone before he could do so. 

End. Or is it? (Hint to Fast and Furious 7 in the post credits)

All this happens while Xander says stupid one liners in classic Riddick form. They also take down a plane with their modified stock cars.