Bloomberg lost his battle against keeping big sodas out of movie theaters (He's probably never been to the movies before, some of these things are over 2 hours long! You need to stay hydrated, even if it's with calorie infused sugar water) but this is how much of a sore loser he is. Now that his soda ban got shut down he's going back on the offense against his old time nemesis, cigarettes.



Why would he go back to a battle he already won? Because he already won (for those of you who don't know he rose the taxes on cigarettes causing the price of cigarettes to rise in an attempt to persuade people to stop smoking). It's a lot easier to kick someone once you've already beat the shit out of them. And this is America, we kick people while they're down.



Bloomberg's New Plan: To hide cigarettes from plain sight. I DO NOT CONDONE SMOKING AT ALL, however, covering them with a black drapes is fucking stupid. You have essentially made cigarettes the XXX section of the convenience store.



And if your intentions are to prevent kids from being brainwashed into buying a pack of smokes, what better way than to put them on the same pedestal as some big ass titties. And you know who loves titties? KIDS!



Now, Bloomberg is not my favorite person in the world, not even top 100 (he's definitely make the 'People I Don't Care For' list). But I do appreciate the fight against lung cancer. So here's my idea for you, Mike. Make a display right by the register with a decaying lung preserved in some clear liquid stuff like you see in one of those mad scientist labs or a finger that was chopped off because of the gangrene (Yes, lets go with the finger cause those are easier to come by. Plus, people have more fingers than lungs, which means more displays).



This may slow down the sales of cheeseburger hotdogs at 7-11 but I'm pretty sure it will get the job done. Also, it will go ahead and take care of the war against greasy foods that Bloomberg was probably planning on after this cigarettes fiasco blows over (might as well nip that one in the butt too, right?).

So, my message to you, Mike. Calm your tits. You win some, you lose some.

P.S. Fuck Cigarettes and all cigarette corporations.