A little while ago I posted a blog commenting on Bloomberg's ridiculous new plan to hide cigarettes from behind the counter which can be read HERE. I posted a screen shot of the blog to my social media sites like most people do in various industries do (be it entertainment, retail, news, etc.) in the hopes that people will click on the link, read it, and enjoy my rant on how Bloomberg is a bit of a tool and express how I do not support smoking and cigarette companies can go fuck themselves. Well like most of Americans, people will click 'like' without ever actually reading what it is they liked and could possibly end up agreeing with something that they are actually opposed to! Could you believe it!

Well two people did exactly that on Instagram. One of which was Camel cigarettes (possibly a fake Camel cigarettes account) and another person who shall remain nameless (you will learn why I choose not to disclose that information soon).

In an attempt to show them that maybe you should have at least read the blog before simply liking everything posted with a certain hashtag I posted this.



A few hours later the latter of the two (who's name has been blacked out) was not too thrilled and responded. The response made me laugh a little bit because it added to the hypocrisy that I originally called them out on!



For the record: I did not and still have not mentioned his name on my 'pathetic' blog. My message to you was 'P.S. Fuck cigarettes and all cigarette corporations.' Now I can see where you might have thought I mentioned your name, all the letters in your name are indeed in that sentence even though they are jumbled up and disguised as a sentence. But this is what I am talking about. Not only did you not read my original post you did not read my secondary post and just assumed what you wanted to believe was true. Let me quote a movie for you, 'Never assume. When you assume, you make an asshole, out of yourself." - Slammin' Salmon (Michael Clarke Duncan R.I.P.) So thanks for responding to what I called you out on by doing what I called you out on, again.

Now seeing as we can determine this person's I.Q. in somewhere in the double digits frustration is to follow and seeing as how I can't be punched they choose the next best alternative: Curse me out. Which I found quite amusing.



I will give you this, I do 'wanna be' a comedian. That's why I'm in this business. That's why most people get into a certain industry. Now, like I said before this is America. We have rules and regulations. I do not need to take down shit! I have not mentioned your name in my blog and even went out of my way to black out your name and avatar from the photos. So, seeing as how I have not outed you anywhere publicly, I am in my legal right (as per the constitution) to write whatever I want. Plus I have evidence to support what I wrote in response to your sad attempt at a comment (because I follow my own advice and I get my fact straight [believe it or not, this is what most comedians do]). Justice.

Fact: You did indeed write this on your profile.



Since this is America, 'Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law' (Miranda Rights). I know this isn't Judge Judy but you get my drift.

What's could this person possibly do now? Go on some crazed rant of 'wow' and 'really' and accuse me of deleting their comments or, as they call them, 'rebuttals' and calls their friends for reinforcements (which never come). But why would I do such a thing? Your 'rebuttals' are the best parts of this thread!



Now, I am not a detective (I even suck at playing the game Clue). But I think YOU deleted your own posts in an attempt to make me look like the asshole. Could it be? Hmmmm. Why would I delete your comments but not mine making it look like I am just talking to myself at you about stuff you said that is not there? But wait, how did I get the screenshots? Because I took them before you deleted them! HA! Maybe I should hold a game night at my mom's house, anyone up for Clue? If I really did delete them, why would I upload them to my blog for everyone to see you fucking idiot.

At this point I've had it with this person so I decide to block them, I was simply tired of his accusation and bullshit responses. Surpise! They get on their personal account and keep commenting! Holy shit, way to be a hypocrite on another level. I can't handle a comment? You are now going out of your way to keep cursing me out because you refuse to read! Reading is the building block of not being a fucking dumbass.



Finally it's over.

Let me respond to you and all the bullshit that you wrote. I am not 40, I am in my 20s and I live with my brother. I did not delete your comments aka 'rebuttals' as proven by my screenshots. I do 'wanna be' a comedian, I have been in the industry only a few years (never performed at an elk club or AA meeting, giving the opportunity I would not pass that up) but most of the comedians I aspire to be like (David Cross, Louis C.K., Patton Oswalt, Bill Burr, Todd Barry, Michael Ian Black, etc.) have been performing stand up comedy for quite sometime, decades even. My favorite comedian of all time, Rodney Dangerfield, even quit at one point in his career then came back in his 40s and crushed it. I will openly admit that my comedy is not on par with them at all, but I have come a long way since the first time I stepped on a stage at New York Comedy Club to my most recent headlining show at Eastville Comedy Club. However, odds are you you did not watch or listen to any of my sets which are readily available on YouTube given your current reputation. But in all honestly, I hope you don't watch any of them. That way, years from now, when you forget about this incident and I come passing through your town, you end up at my show and you have the time of your life. You laugh and hold your stomach saying things such as, Oh my god! I can't breathe! That jokes was awesome!' You go home and look me up and some how stumble upon this post and go 'Good Lord! That was him! I can't believe I was such a douchebag, he is so funny and interesting and something. I'm such a hypocrite.' Until that day comes it will only live in my fantasies.

Yes I did indeed block you. You finally got something right. As for the dealing with hecklers comment you are wrong. I did deal with you. I responded to everything you said but you decided to go to some extreme measures of deleting comments and coming up with mediocre responses etc. and you kept being belligerent. So I did what some comedians do at a comedy club when they have someone like you disrupting the show. I called internet security, aka the block button. And once again, this is America! I actually can block someone in real life! It's called a restraining order. Block button, the DV-110 of the internet. Thanks Al Gore (since you don't read, Al Gore is the self-proclaimed inventor of the internet)!

Now that we have everything cleared up, I would like to say congratulations on making it onto my blog! And your name is still not on it! Chalk one up for the comedians.

-Rudy Stantz

P.S. I appreciate your concern about my love life, I'm working on fixing it. I've been saving money here and there trying to save up for one of those fancy prostitutes. You know, one of those first class Tiger Woods or Eliot Spitzer call girls. Get a taste of the high life.

P.S.S. I am not a pedophile, the person is assuming I am because he has no other way of making a come back, once again making an asshole out of himself. And Yes I have a little extra weight, working on that too. Weight Watchers!